Damn, ma. Do you have the Cliff Notes version?
While I recommend reading through my post in it’s entirety, seeing as that would give you the largest amount of information about myself, I’m sure I can condense it to something more suitable for you. My name is Rachel Berry✫ and I’m destined to become a Broadway legend. I’ve attended school with you for two years, Noah, so I’m sure you’re already aware of that, had you been listening at any time, but you asked, so I provided.
Although I must confess that I am not exactly surprised to see that a number of my fans and friends have already joined the ranks of my Tumblr followers, to say that I am excited that such an occurence has happened is a bit of an understatement. When registering for this blogging format, I was already aware that it would not be long until I became one of the most popular pages on the website, and to see that movement beginning already is extremely encouraging. My transition from MySpace to Tumblr has been a lengthy one; however, I am glad to officially anounce that the gold starlet of Walden Academy’s arrival has now been completed, regardless of any detours I may have encountered. For example, I came to the realization after a few minutes of browsing Tumblr’s tagging system that there are a number of imposters making their ways around this website, claiming to be the irreplicable Rachel Barbra Berry★. While this is a flattering discovery, it is also an extremely unsettling one. It is my belief that it would be beneficial to you to completely ignore these blatant charlatans.
Now, although I’m sure that a good majority of you are already aware of exactly whose blog you are viewing, I will take the liberty of formally introducing myself for the handful of unfortunate souls who have yet to fully familiarize themselves with me and, more importantly, the talent with which I was born with. As I mentioned beforehand, my name is Rachel Barbra Berry★, and, for those wondering, the star is completely necessary. After all, it is a metaphor for me being a star. Regardless, it would be wise of you to take note of my name, for it will soon be splayed across every magazine and newspaper you can find. In a few short years, once I complete my education, I will be taking New York City’s prestigious Broadway stages by storm, preferably in the role of Fanny Brice from the timeless Barbra classic, Funny Girl. After all, both of my fathers have preached to me since I was a child that my Broadway debut has always been imminent; some would even say inevitable. I consider it extremely discouraging that I must avert from the topic of this paragraph of my introduction, but I find it necessary to dissuade those who may express their disbelief in my utter determination to make it to the stages of Broadway. Naturally, I am aware of exactly how difficult it is to become a Broadway legend like Barbra Streisand—my idol. However, I would like for whoever has not been fortunate enough to previously hear my singing voice to click this conveniently-placed link, which will then direct you to a video my fathers uploaded to YouTube after my performance of the song “Touch Me” from the smash-hit musical, Spring Awakening.
In an attempt not to divulge too much information of my personal life to the Internet before my first hour spent on Tumblr is up, I will end my brief welcome post shortly. However, before I do so, I must address a pressing issue. I am currently under the assumption that the less-experienced users of Tumblr may require a bit of assistance in locating my ask box, a crucial part of the blogging experience. After reading through this post, I am positive that those who have followed me, or wish to follow me immediately after discovering that they have unearthed the true Rachel Barbra Berry★’s impeccably-styled blog amidst a plethora of imposters, will undoubtedly wish to leave me some fan-mail as well. Because of this, I have placed a link to my ask box here in order to make the journey from the Dashboard to my blog a bit easier for those who have yet to fully learn the ropes of blogging. For those of you who have a tendency to ramble, much like myself, I have placed a link to my submit here, where you may write to your heart’s content! Now that I seem to have covered everything of importance, I bid you farewell and commend you on your simply immaculate taste in blogs. Take that however you wish, but I would advise you to keep in mind that a star like myself does not compliment everyone.
Has anyone ever explained to you how difficult it is to have a conversation with you?
I can’t see the correlation that has with the conversation we seem to be having right now, but to answer your question, yes. I’ve been informed of that before.
Let’s get something straight. The only reason I followed you was to make sure that you don’t harass any of my friends. That did not require your following me back. Not at all.
Quinn, I think you may be confused. I’ve never “harassed” anyone. The dictionary definition of harassment is to aggressively pressure or intimidate another being. Enthusiastically promoting the Glee club—which, by the way, I continue to the the sole member of—can hardly qualify as harassment and you saying otherwise would be insulting to my methods of promotion.
Okay…what are you doing, Berry?
I didn’t realize it was a violation of some sort for me to use Tumblr in my free time, Quinn—a free website open to public. I was simply taking the liberty of following my classmates in order to keep myself up-to-date with the happenings of the school and my peers’ social lives. Considering you followed me first, I wanted to return the favor. Is it wrong of me to assume that you’re turning over a new leaf?